Be unapologetically you

It's funny, when I started thinking about sending weekly emails, I wondered if I would be able to come up with topics to talk about every week or if I would struggle, looking at a blank screen every Sunday before eventually giving up.

But the truth is that I'm finding just the opposite. The more I write, the more I find that things inspire me, and then I end up with so many thoughts to share that I find it hard to choose!

What I wanted to share today comes from eavesdropping. And it’s important.

I've been staying at my friend's house, one of my favourite people in the world and probably the most badass woman I know.

She's a born negotiator, never afraid to ask for what she wants, and when I’m around her I literally take notes!

She taught me that even when you shop in big-name fashion stores, you can still get an extra discount if you ask nicely. And to send my food back when it's not what I ordered (I still feel like crying when I do this, but at least I do it!).

She taught me to let other people take care of me, although that’s my hardest lesson. And to lay out my salary increase expectations when I start a new job, because... why wouldn't you just ask and let them know how you want to be treated?

To me, she's always been the picture of confidence and assertiveness, the life and soul of every party.

So she is the last person I thought I would hear this reflection from.

On a conference call to talk about Hispanic Heritage Month, she recalled a previous diversity initiative that was themed around being “unapologetically me” and how it had touched her.

And then, she described how when she first left her country and started to travel for work, she felt embarrassed.

Embarrassed for being too much, too loud, too expressive, for talking with her hands, dancing too much and liking reggaeton.

Basically, embarrassed for everything that makes her who she is and makes her a joy to be around.

She explained how important it was for every single person to be encouraged to be unapologetically who they are and to celebrate what makes them different from everyone else.

Truer words have never been spoken.

By this point, of course, I had stopped pretending to type and was staring at her with tears in my eyes (if you know me, you know I'm a crier!)

It both moved me and broke my heart a little to hear her say that.

For one, because of my own prejudices, that I'm confronted with again and again.

I tend to think that people who are extroverted, loud, and the life of the party are just born into this world with their tap shoes on, blessed with a cloak of self-assurance, knowing the world is their stage and the rest of us are mere spectators, grateful to bask in their glow.

Of course, by now, I know better.

I know of the many masks people wear and how much pain they can hide.

I know that even the people who shine the brightest have their darkest moments and insecurities.

And it also made me sad to think how universal the feeling that it's wrong to be yourself is.

At what point in history did we decide that there was a right way and a wrong way to be and begin inflicting that judgement on others?

Worse of all, at what point did we start inflicting the weight of that judgement on ourselves?

I say we should start celebrating ourselves again.

Celebrate your unique brand of weirdness, the things that only make you laugh, the songs that make you sing.

Celebrate the things you love and the ones that break your heart.

Celebrate your dancing, your raucousness, your quiet moments, and your playfulness.

Celebrate the things that send shivers down your spine, the ones that turn your face red with rage, and the ones that make you feel giddy and grateful to be alive.

Celebrate the collection of quirks, desires and passions that make up your secret sauce that no one else in the whole world has.

There's never been anyone quite like you in the history of humanity, and there never will be again.

How insanely lucky is everyone that knows you that they managed to find themselves in the exact moment in time and space where their cosmic paths crossed with the uniqueness that is you?

A moment later, and they would have missed your magic forever.

If that's not worth celebrating, I don't know what is.

So be unapologetically you.

Like Oscar Wilde wisely says, everyone else is taken!

Sending you love and appreciation for everything that you are,

Paula