I want it all... AND I want it now

If there’s one sentence I hate above all others, it’s when well-meaning people tell me, “Oh well, you can’t have it all!”

Why?

Why the f*** can’t I have it all?

I know that makes me sound like an older, more Spanish Verruca Salt, but honestly, my dreams aren’t all that crazy. Plus, they don’t involve traumatising squirrels.

My ambitions don’t seem so out of this world:

✨I want to live where I can just hop into warm waters and dive every day, but I can’t stand hot climates and yearn for the snow.

✨It breaks my heart to be away from my family and friends and miss their celebrations, but I need to see the world.

✨I want to be a fancy digital nomad and travel where I please at the drop of a hat, but I struggle to work on the go without some routine in my day.

✨I love the idea of having someone by my side to share my life and travels with, but the idea of losing even just a fraction of my freedom frankly petrifies me.

✨I love pretty much every single person in this crazy, crazy world and want to hug each and every one of you, but I also wish I could live in a hut in the forest and just climb trees and look at the clouds without ever having any human contact.

✨I miss my work friends, the experiences we shared and all that I learned there more than I can bear, but I could never go back to working in an office.

✨I want to be all confident, fearless and self-assured, especially now that I’m stepping more into working as a coach, but I’m still riddled with self-doubt more often than not.

And it frustrates me that I seem to spend my life seeking an elusive balance that is somehow always just outside of my reach.

The subject of wanting it all and struggling to find balance is something I’ve been talking about a lot lately. With my therapist, my coach, my unofficial coach (that’s you, D!😘), my somatic therapist, my numerologist, and my friends (before you ask- yes, it does take this many people to keep me sane, a proverbial village!)

The problem is that this is one you can’t really be coached out of.

Even if I could teleport and there were 48 hours in a day, I know I would find more things that I wanted to do to add to my never-ending list.

This might make me sound like I’m frustrated.

And I’m not, I promise you. I’m generally content, grateful for my luck in life and place in the world and grasping the present moment as much as possible to squeeze every drop out of life.

But I guess it’s probably human always to want more.

Or maybe it’s just me? 🤔

What do you think?

Sending you much love.

Paula

P.S. Coincidentally… or rather, not coincidentally at all, but likely because this theme has been on my mind for a while, “I want it all” by the genius that is Queen (not to be confused with “The Queen,” it doesn’t matter how patriotic you are, I doubt she has the same pipes as Freddie M.) was the song I chose for my money tunnel in the mountain retreat I had a few weeks ago with my coach and my muse, Selina Gray 💜.

What the f is a money tunnel, you may ask?

Drop me a line, and I’ll tell you.

Except, it’s pretty much as it sounds. Just so much more awesome!