😴The importance of napping
I've always been good under pressure.
I was the type who could easily stay up all night without sleep studying for exams or do 18-hour days when something unexpected came up at work.
I'm just good at keeping calm when the adrenaline starts pumping.
Trust me; you want me around when there's an emergency. I thrive in tough situations (it's just everyday life that I struggle with!)
But I know from experience that your body and brain can only take so much before it gives in.
The last couple of years at my job were gruelling. For reasons that are too long to explain in an email, I ended up working 7 days a week for many months, sleeping an average of 4-5 hours, and on a constant adrenaline rush from all the deadlines we had to meet.
At first, I was furiously productive, coasting on a high as I'd always done.
Until I realised that the human brain cannot live in a constant adrenaline rush. At some point, it burns out.
I didn't feel anxious or stressed. I just started to notice that something was off. I would be in the middle of a sentence and forget what I was talking about. Or I would get up to go to the bathroom and have to stop halfway because I didn't have the strength to lift my feet off the floor.
I wasn't worried, I just thought that after I left, I would take a couple of months off to rest, nap, and recover, and all would be perfectly fine again.
Fast forward to now, five years later, my nervous system is still recovering, and I'm still healing the side effects of that extreme burnout.
I never even realised I was suffering from burnout- I just called it exhaustion.
But I found out the hard way that when you push your body beyond a certain point, no amount of napping is enough to recover.
It's only now, when I'm finally starting to feel more like myself again, that I'm starting to realise how much damage I'd unknowingly done to myself.
I feel that my brain fog is lifting, and I'm capable of quick thinking again. When I wake in the morning, I feel rested. My memory is feeling more reliable, I don't need to rest for days after the slightest physical exertion, and I'm not getting constant migraines because the slightest thing in my day is off balance.
The descent was so gradual and the need to deliver so intense that it's only now, with some distance, that I can see how I fried my nervous system to a crisp.
And the worst thing is- for me, it became so intense it was impossible to ignore. But the signs were there probably since the day I started working. Maybe even back to my uni and school days.
We're taught from the most tender age that being busy is a badge of honour.
That the more we do, the higher our grades, the more activities we take part in, the more we will be admired.
That's why it breaks my heart when I hear people tell me that they don't know how to rest and switch off.
That they get antsy when they have a free hour and feel guilty about not being productive. That they can't sit in silence for even a few minutes.
And I get it; we all feel we have to do more, for whatever reason.
For some, it's for approval, out of perfectionism, or driven by ambition, feeling they need to be more than they are today.
My poison was helping others; my kryptonite has always been people-pleasing. Which seems noble, but it's still poison.
The funny thing is that I've always been a boss at relaxing. I will happily sit on a rock and watch the grass blowing in the breeze for hours. I don't have to empty my mind cos, more often than not, it already is. I've never been one to have racing thoughts or to be always planning my next step.
But I still fell prey to the cult of the hustle, to glorifying busyness.
It doesn't matter why you work yourself to the bone and never take a break.
You need to realise that you are more than your work, more than what you produce, and more than what other people think of you.
Because no one ends up on their deathbed wishing they had worked longer hours.
They wish they had spent more time with their loved ones, indulged more in their hobbies, travelled more and relished the simple pleasures in life.
We have only one life on this planet, and today is a day you'll never get back. So treasure every minute.
And take that nap.
Sending you the biggest hug 💜
Paula
P.S. I always joked that I was going to create a course to teach people how to do nothing and actually enjoy it. But lately, I'm starting to think that it might not be so much of a joke and actually something that the world really needs!
Do you struggle with rest and switching off?
Let me know, or drop into my DMs; I'd love to hear your story 💜